Divorce success is in the details

June 30, 2011

There is a saying:
the devil’s in the details.

Not sure where it came from. Some believe it started as an earlier
phrase, “God is in the details” and attribute it to a German architect.
Others say it started with a German art historian.

Wherever it came from, it refers to the fact that close attention needs
to be paid to even the very smallest details of any task, because
they can make a larger job more difficult or challenging. They can
prolong a task, cloud an issue or hide a problem.

I’ll certainly say this: divorce is in the details. And how.

There are pages and pages of information to be filled in as part
of the divorce process. Some information is easy to get – from
your monthly bills and your bank account statements online.
It just takes time to pull it all together. And then you have to figure
out how to add it into the forms your lawyer has given you or how
you are going to get it to them to fill in for you.

Other numbers are trickier to pull together. How much did you
have in RRSPs on the date of your marriage? What did you have
in your bank account? Is there a cash component to your life
insurance policy? What would those tools be worth that your dad
gave you before you got married?

We never plan to get divorced.

When we get married, especially when we are young and just
starting out in our lives, we are planning for a long life together.
Few, if any of us, keep bank books and credit card statements
from the day we were married. I’m sentimental, a keepsake keeper
and very organized and even I don’t have those things! And as the
majority of us aren’t uber-rich celebrities with legal advisors taking
note of debts and assets before we say our vows, we just don’t have
these kinds of details documented. And yet, when you work through
your divorce, these are just some of the details you need.

I say, your divorce success is in the details.