{"id":61,"date":"2016-06-19T23:29:48","date_gmt":"2016-06-20T04:29:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.divorcedetails.ca\/?p=61"},"modified":"2016-06-19T23:29:48","modified_gmt":"2016-06-20T04:29:48","slug":"patterns-and-similarities","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.divorcedetails.ca\/?p=61","title":{"rendered":"Patterns and Similarities"},"content":{"rendered":"

As I\u2019ve spent the past couple of years working with people and helping them
\nthrough the journey that is divorce, I\u2019ve started to see patterns emerge.<\/span><\/p>\n

As unique as every person is and as individual as every marriage is, there
\nreally are similarities.<\/span><\/p>\n

Unless you\u2019ve actually been through a divorce before, you have no idea what
\nyou are about to face… the lovely process that is divorce.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t care how fabulous your lawyer is, they are not going to tell you
\neverything b<\/span>ecause it is just too much to deal with and again, unless
\nyou\u2019ve been through it\u2026and they don\u2019t see it from the eyes of the new
\nperson that is facing having to deal\u00a0with a divorce, with no understanding
\nof what that means. And who feels like their\u00a0life is ending and their world
\nis imploding.<\/p>\n

The actual ending of the marriage, the divorce paperwork, is the
\neasiest part.\u00a0It\u2019s everything that goes before it that\u2019s difficult.<\/span><\/p>\n

Too many people let things drag on too long for fear of rocking the boat
\nor not\u00a0wanting to upset the other party too much. This seems to happen,
\nto be done by\u00a0\u201cnice\u201d guys way too often. And they often end up losing a\u00a0lot
\n<\/span>because of handing\u00a0<\/span>things this way. Money and time with their kids are the
\nbiggies. They just want to\u00a0choose the option that appears easiest to deal with,
\neither just leaving things as they\u00a0are, or even not dealing with them.<\/p>\n

But what I have seen in the long run is the opposite.<\/p>\n

Not making decisions, letting things go, not nailing down details creates
\nbigger\u00a0problems the longer the situation goes on. And it creates a precedent
\nfor not changing\u00a0things.<\/span> If things have been okay like this for this long, why
\ndo they need changing now?\u00a0But they weren\u2019t actually okay like that. \u00a0And
\nnow it\u2019s hard to go back and change it.<\/p>\n

My advice is to find someone who understands what you are dealing with,
\ncan help you\u00a0understand what you need to pay attention to, and what the
\nconsequences of the decisions\u00a0and actions you are taking today are going to
\nhave on your future. Find someone who can\u00a0make sense of the insane world
\nyou are dealing with at the moment. Who can help you sort\u00a0through the
\ncraziness you are dealing with.<\/p>\n

At least then you will be making informed decisions.<\/p>\n

\"maze\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As I\u2019ve spent the past couple of years working with people and helping them through the journey that is divorce, I\u2019ve started to see patterns emerge. As unique as every person is and as individual as every marriage is, there really are similarities. Unless you\u2019ve actually been through a divorce before, you have no idea […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[30,32,6,5,22,4,1],"tags":[39,13,23,34,38,36,37],"class_list":["post-61","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blogging","category-decisions","category-divorce-details","category-divorce-journey","category-divorce-paperwork","category-process","category-uncategorized","tag-creating-precedents","tag-divorce-details-2","tag-divorce-paperwork-2","tag-making-decisions","tag-moving-forward","tag-patterns","tag-similarities"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.divorcedetails.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/61","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.divorcedetails.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.divorcedetails.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.divorcedetails.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.divorcedetails.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=61"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.divorcedetails.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/61\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.divorcedetails.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=61"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.divorcedetails.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=61"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.divorcedetails.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=61"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}