{"id":52,"date":"2011-10-20T12:31:03","date_gmt":"2011-10-20T17:31:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.divorcedetails.ca\/?p=52"},"modified":"2014-03-07T11:32:15","modified_gmt":"2014-03-07T16:32:15","slug":"broken%e2%80%a6and-sucking-the-life-out-of-you%e2%80%a6","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.divorcedetails.ca\/?p=52","title":{"rendered":"Broken\u2026and sucking the life out of you\u2026."},"content":{"rendered":"

The family court system in Ontario is so broken,<\/span>
\n it\u2019s not even funny.<\/span><\/p>\n

It boggles my mind that the court system can give
\nyou a date and a time and you show up, having
\ndone hours of work, getting prepared mentally and
\nphysically with the paper, and then you\u00a0never even
\nget in front of the judge. And to have\u00a0 it happen the
\nnext time you attend court as well… just how does
\nthat happen?\u00a0 The system is broken.<\/p>\n

I recently read a book by Carla Collins called
\n\u201cAngels, Vampires, & Douche Bags.\u201d Carla is a
\nworld-class comedian, who went to high school in
\nGuelph, and now lives in California. I first met Carla
\nwhen she moved with her family from the Ontario Far
\nNorth to Guelph. She moved in down the street from
\nme and we became friends. It has been so interesting
\nto watch her rise to fame. And she is funnnnny!<\/p>\n

I had the pleasure of seeing her perform when she came
\nback to Guelph this past summer.\u00a0 What a night of laughter
\nthat was! I got caught up with her and read her book.
\nMore laughter and a lot of wisdom.<\/p>\n

Her premise is that there are three types of people in the<\/span>
\n world<\/span>: the angels that appear out of nowhere, and give you
\nthe love and helping hand you need \u2013 maybe for a day, maybe
\nfor the rest of your life; the vampires that suck everything they
\ncan from you and never give you anything back; and then, as
\nshe puts it, there are the douche bags…those\u00a0people that might
\nappear sexy or trendy and quite seductive, but are actually
\nintent on focusing on themselves and bringing others down,
\nsabotaging our progress and making our day-to-day lives more
\nstressful, painful, negative and less fulfilling.<\/p>\n

In between laughs, I realized there was so much truth to what
\nshe had written. I could immediately think of various people that
\nfell into each of those profiles. And then I thought this is what<\/span>
\n the court system feels like: a giant vampire sucking everything it<\/span>
\n can out of you.<\/span> It takes energy and determination and perseverance
\nto stick with it and see your case through. And it slowly sucks the
\nsoul right out of you.<\/p>\n

And wow! Are there ever the douche bags just ready to rip your
\nheart out! Hmm…the vampires and the douche bags kind of blend<\/span>
\n together after a while.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, what do you do to protect yourself?<\/span> You be as honest, open
\nand forthcoming as you can right from the start. You cross your t\u2019s
\nand dot your i\u2019s and make sure your credibility is established at the
\nstart and continues all the way through.\u00a0 You work with your lawyer
\nand other experts and get them the information they need as quickly
\nas you can. You don\u2019t delay things needlessly and drag things out
\nunnecessarily. You don\u2019t descend into the lion pit and try and be as
\ndignified and classy as you can be through the process in the hopes
\nthat\u2019s what you will receive in return.<\/p>\n

It doesn\u2019t matter what you think as you start your separation and
\ndivorce process, you quickly come to some realizations: no matter
\nhow civilized you thought you and partner were going to be, it doesn\u2019t
\nstay that way; even when you seem to have no money or assets, it still
\nisn\u2018t easy; even when everyone tells you to \u201cstay in the house\u201d, that is one
\nof biggest soul-sucking exercises that exists\u2014really; and this process is
\nnot a fast one. So be prepared for the ride. And I highly recommend<\/span>
\n finding ways to laugh<\/span>…really laugh…as you deal with it all. It will help
\nto keep you sane. Take care of you.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Carla Collins and I, catching up<\/p><\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The family court system in Ontario is so broken, it\u2019s not even funny. It boggles my mind that the court system can give you a date and a time and you show up, having done hours of work, getting prepared mentally and physically with the paper, and then you\u00a0never even get in front of the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,5,22,4,1],"tags":[26,20,9,27,28,29],"class_list":["post-52","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-divorce-details","category-divorce-journey","category-divorce-paperwork","category-process","category-uncategorized","tag-carla-collins","tag-divorce-journey-2","tag-divorce-process","tag-laughter","tag-ontario-family-court-system","tag-sucking-the-life-out-of-you"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.divorcedetails.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/52","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.divorcedetails.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.divorcedetails.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.divorcedetails.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.divorcedetails.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=52"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.divorcedetails.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/52\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.divorcedetails.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=52"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.divorcedetails.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=52"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.divorcedetails.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=52"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}